A pseudo-scientific (i.e. fake) study on depression

People seem to get one thing wrong all the time…they think that because you become from a more privileged environment, you somehow are entitled to be happier. According to them, it doesn’t make sense for middle class kids on up to be depressed or emo because, as one of the dangerous cliches reminds us, someone always has it worse than you do.

Let’s take a quote of what these guys are saying:

I guess I just don’t understand where some of you guys are coming from that you are so unhappy with your life. I really just want to sit and talk with you guys about your views on life. I have no job, no girlfriend, very few friends, am not in great shape, am not that good looking and have a slightly below average dick. But I would NEVER describe myself as depressed or unhappy. Most of you live in America and never have to go through the hardships of just surviving in a third world country. You have the power and resources within you to make yourself a successful, happy person. I am certain of this.

These guys miss the fact about depression and emo-dom that psychology and sociology have seemingly failed to realize for so long: depression arises BECAUSE of privilege, not in the absence of it.

Think about the starving children in Africa? Are they depressed? You might be tempted to say yes, but then you might realize, no, they aren’t. You don’t hear about anyone in Africa whining about starving. That is the way of life. Starving is the norm. You may recall Susan Sarandon whining about starving children in Africa, and although those children aren’t by any means happy, they aren’t sad. They don’t have enough things to be happy about to have the absence thereof. If you’ve never tasted good cheesecake, then how can you know what bad cheesecake tastes like? You just think cheesecake.

On the other hand, when you think about emos or depressed kids, you think about people from 1st world nations (or the wannabes of those nations). You immediately identify them as 1st world, middle class, etc., and this is for a fact because you look down at them for this reason…you can’t understand why anyone with so much would be depressed. I know you’re trying to say to yourself that you’re an angel and you would never pidgeonhole someone in such a way, but quit lying. This is the internet, where no one knows you’re a dog.

I used to be the same way…but then, I became enlightened…I read a little book by Pearl S. Buck called The Good Earth. I guess Academic Decathlon was trying to get me to realize all kinds of grandiose things about 20th century China, the treatment (or mis-) of women, and all that good stuff, but I found the perfect scenario for what I term the Rich Depression effect.

Wang Lung = Poor farmer. He’s not happy, but he’s not sad. He wants to move up in life. Bam. He gets some success, and his children are raised in this success. They become educated, but then…one son becomes, as Ms. Buck described it, “moody.” He begins slacking in his studies and hanging out with the wrong crowd. Sound familiar?

No, I’m not saying that all emos/depressed kids/etc., stop studying and start hanging out with the wrong crowds, but it seems there’s this trend…as you become more privileged and more educated, you keep up with the Joneses, and when you can’t, bam. Emo-dom.

I don’t know if you’ve seen any research on this (I’m pretty sure TED has covered this once or twice), but people with less are somewhat able to be happier in their stations than people with more. And, a general trend is that as people become more privileged and educated…it seems that increased happiness isn’t the natural result. I dunno. I’m not a doctor though.

So, cut out this stuff about rich kids having no justification for being depressed and emo. I have every darn right to write bloody valentines to my androgynous girlfriend on my $500 phone while wearing my sister’s designer $200 jeans.

P.S. Big congrats on Mexico. Although it’s unfortunate that it’s having major riots against emos (which I do not condone in any way), this is a clear indicator that it has emos, which means…quite simply…that now, Mexico has. Welcome to the haves, mi amigos, I think you’ll find it’s a much better crowd than the have nots!

**Disclaimer. This isn’t real science, obviously, except for the links. Depression is a complex psychological and neurological issue. Although, I’m willing to believe sooner or later, I could go somewhere with that privilege -> emo idea and make millions of buck$, so please don’t sue me or steal my ideas. Also, please don’t cut me or yourselves.